It's not just love that has gone to shit in my life. It's everything.
Losing love.
Losing shelter.
Losing career.
Losing financial stability.
Losing any hopes I had for a better life.
And losing myself in the whole process.
I can't find anything more than just the tune in my head of "What about your friends?" from TLC.
The chorus that keeps repeating in my head.
"What about your friends?
Will they stand their ground?
Will they let you down again?
Ohh..
What about your friends?
Are they gonna be low down?
Will they ever be around?
Or will they turn their backs on you?"
~TLC
I can't get the picture out of my head when one of the people who really affected my life and how it tore me down completely is now friends with someone who I insisted to trust with my whole heart. I fear that their friendship will cancel out mine and whatever I have left with the person I deemed to love the most (not the one who crushed my soul...it's the one I connect my soul to..). I can't talk to my other friends that I have, cause now it's in a whirlwind in my mind. What happens if things don't end up okay after this? Where are the friends I can trust?? I guess I need someone who does understand me...or at least once I've understood myself...
Where are my friends? And why can't my trust evolve from this lonely, disconnected, welled-up-with-fear place that it's in...
My life is in shambles...I'm drowning in more debt that I didn't expect to arise...I'm about to become homeless...and I still can't find a job to even just sustain my rent and bills...
What will become of me now?
