I just gotta stop making songs about people in my past...it just hurts even more knowing that my love isn't even worth the tides of time...What is it that I am doing that makes my life delusional and with the aspect of harsh character-trials on my heart? Where does it say that I'm destined to suffer this much before my second Quarterlife? I can't stand it any longer...therefore, I'm stopping...
Stopping the world that I loved and cherished...
Stopping the friendship that I had...
Stopping the procrastinating and prolonging this pain inside of me...
It's all gotta stop...
She doesn't see that it hurts me to know that waiting, when I used to wait all the time...can't do it anymore...I need to know, and if leaving it to time and not knowing what you want doesn't seem fair...
Maybe I'm ridiculous...and maybe I'm a bit impatient...but just deal with it now, and if you can't work it out head-on, maybe I'll just give you that time then...I can't be the one if I'm not even being acknowledged as anything short of a friend...
I tried friendship...
I tried holding my feelings back...
I cannot...therefore...I gotta leave this...leave you out of my life...
So maybe I can think...
Heartache never felt soo much like this...
04 April 2009
29 March 2009
The Love of Maribel
I met her not knowing how hard I'd fall. It was 3 months and 1 day ago when we smiled at each other, a month and 17 days ago when we started our relationship, 7 days ago when I messed it up, and 48 hours ago when I last heard from her.
All I wanted was peace in my soul and to rid myself from the scorn of a past love. When I finally let it go and had it affect my relationship, it went into the spiral of something that I didn't want to happen: a breakup. I tried to explain it and make amends...I can only think that it is all too late...
I don't know how I can recover my heart if I keep scaring myself out of great relationships...my committment goes awry and I know now that I do have issues with long-term things.
Permanence and leaving things in the control of another is a fear of mine. One habit I definitely have to get over. I want fate to lead me, and if I do, I'll be happier and more successful. Cherishing moments of the now will keep me happy.
I only hope the one I am definitely and truly in love with knows that I still love her and want nothing more than to be happy...
All I wanted was peace in my soul and to rid myself from the scorn of a past love. When I finally let it go and had it affect my relationship, it went into the spiral of something that I didn't want to happen: a breakup. I tried to explain it and make amends...I can only think that it is all too late...
I don't know how I can recover my heart if I keep scaring myself out of great relationships...my committment goes awry and I know now that I do have issues with long-term things.
Permanence and leaving things in the control of another is a fear of mine. One habit I definitely have to get over. I want fate to lead me, and if I do, I'll be happier and more successful. Cherishing moments of the now will keep me happy.
I only hope the one I am definitely and truly in love with knows that I still love her and want nothing more than to be happy...
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